about hurting people

Recently I hurt someone. My friend. I didn’t think, I didn’t want to do it and at that particular moment I actually didn’t realize that I’m hurting her. But I did. I did something nobody is supposed to do, ever.

Now I’m here with the worst feeling eating into my head – I hurt an innocent person. There’s nothing that can justify it.

And she isn’t mad at me. But I’m mad at myself, badly. Because the worst thing about transgression and sin is that it also hurts your soul. I did something bad and she forgave me so now she is pure again. But by doing a bad thing I also hurt myself and there’s no one who can forgive me but myself. But how can I do that when I know myself?