about being mad I.

I decided to recount you how i became mad

there is no actual matter in the "real" circumstances that brought me to this place. a lot happened, still the true turning points were things anyone else would hardly notice.

you go mad when your soul is too weak to fight
my soul lived on a smeared brick backyard.
at some point I had allowed the winds, heavy rain and snow to devastate the roof on the top of the yard and it fell apart little by little. the roof was made of my childish believes, naivety, my strict and superannuated upbringing and of me permanently expecting happy ending...
but that still wasn't the tragedy. when you make just a small effort, you're easily able to build a new different roof, fix the loose bricks and maybe completely redecorate your place.
but beware of losing your alertness! such as a tiny tuft of grass can make a concrete pavement crack and force its way through so are the changes within you small but with fatal consequences.
you have to feel the life around you constantly. you have to respond to every impulse it's sending you!
if you don't you're slowly losing yourself. the place where your soul is living is falling into ruin. and that's the beginning of becoming mad. because as your walls fall down all the things that were hiding behind them will occupy your most inner self.

this is the strangest life I've ever known - jim morrison

I love this jim's quote. maybe because being strange isn't a bad thing for me
I think once you embrace and accept the unpredictability of life and stop worrying because you can't control and change everything you find out that chances are the best things that are happening to you
because not every time the ways you planned for things to be are the best once