i once used to be a profound

-
I have lain on the floor in the bathroom and thought long about how things are dismal. And I used to have a terrible craving for a cigarette.
"Finally, grew out of puberty," said the other but I feel so empty inside sometimes. I smoke, but mostly without the true passion.
Because a depression is better than nothing. Even though it's completely stupid and unnecessary depression. The adult world is no better place. It's not EVEN hopeless.
When I accidentally have some free time, I sit at the computer instead of books. I still occasionally roam the city, but far more than looking at people I'm looking in shop windows.
Was I right about the world, have I seen things clearer when I was a teenager or do all the other adults have truth?
I'm not profound anymore, so I'm not sure how is it all actually supposed to be...
-